The Definitive Myspace Whore Collective: Friendwhores, Scenewhores, Attentionwhores, Camwhores, and regular Whores.

Posted by: fff In: Culture| Internet| Popular

In the article Myspace Ruins Yourlife, I briefly alluded to people using the mass “exposure” side of Myspace to divulge their assets to the world. This is the latest round-up of the various and sundry Myspace whoring on the net.

Definition.

Myspace is Naughty

Just to make sure that we’re all on the same page, here are some terms for you.
Whore: “referring to prostitutes, is taken from the Old English word ho-ra (from the Indo-European root ka- meaning “to like, desire”). The term is used for a sexually promiscuous person (usually females), or one who gives the appearance of being more sexually accessible, active or demonstrative than is deemed socially acceptable. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally considered an offensive term of disparagement. As such, it may be applied to a woman perceived to be “sexually loose” for any variety of reasons, such as wearing provocative clothing, being overly saucy, or engaging indiscriminately in sexual relations with new partners after only a brief period of acquaintance. Increasingly, however, the term “slut” has been applied to men as well, particularly within the gay community, although this usage is generally considered jocular rather than offensive.”

see A Massive Gallery Of MySpace Whores and even Playboy has gotten in on the whore frenzy. Playboy Myspace Contest - Hottest Girls On Myspace.com - Girls of My Space Nude Pics “Anyone with an Internet connection has likely flirted, reunited or blogged their fingers bare on MySpace. Now it’s time for you ladies online to put your moneymaker where your mouse is. Playboy.com seeks the sexiest women of the MySpace community to pose for a nude Playboy pictorial. If you’re 18 or older and would like to appear in a professional Playboy photo shoot, send us your application. And if you know a hot number on MySpace who fits the bill, tell her to get in touch!”

Friendwhore: def #1 - “a person who whores them self and others just for the sake of adding friends in an attempt to look cool and say they have a lot of friends. They often do this by posting bulletins that say things such as “add this person they are good in bed”. I have 238476293460256 friends bc I am a myspace whore, but even tho I have all those friends on myspace I have no real friends.” def #2- “Usually a female on MySpace who goes nights without sleep just so she can post comments, bulletins, and pictures. She will often skip homework so she can be on MySpace, and naturally gets on it once she’s at school. She’ll generally have over 1000 friends because she’ll be posting really slutty pictures of herself and pictures where you can’t see her face and she isn’t smiling. Generally has the same taste in music as everyone else on MySpace and is constantly threatening to delete her MySpace account because she’s begging for attention.” def #3 - “A person who spends a lot of time on myspace, but while on there, posts bulletins and sends messages to other people telling them to add so and so, and the person they’re ‘whoring’ does the same for them. Person 1: Whore me? I have 5k friends! Person 2: Ok, just click my button and whore me too! Whoring Bulletin: Add Sam! She’s super hot! She comments! (Persons Pic Here). That’s what a myspace whore does.”

Scenewhore: “a person completely immersed in the scene of a particular subculture or clique. They go to all of that scene’s clubs, bars and hang-outs, dress exclusively in its “uniform” and listen only to its music. Most scenewhores tend not to associate or be friends with those outside their chosen scene, and some will even take up jobs that are scene-centric (barista at a scene’s favorite coffee house or a sales person at a scene-dominated record store).”

Attentionwhore: “an insulting term used in reference to a person who is trying to draw attention to themselves or who finds attention from others gratifying. The insult turns on the idea that the person to whom it is directed is comparable in their actions to a prostitute: a prostitute gives himself or herself sexually to anyone willing to pay, and in the same way an attention whore makes a fool of himself or herself for anyone willing to pay attention. The term attention whore came into popular usage through the Internet, where it is often used to deride those who try to gain attention and a reputation online. An attention whore is almost invariably a sixteen year old girl who desperately craves attention in any form.”

Camwhore: “The term “cam whore” is also used to refer to individuals who post pictures or videos of themselves on the Internet to gain attention. The term disparages those who post pictures of themselves at inappropriate times or places, and usually implies self-absorption. A variety of attention whore (see above), typically a young woman who will do anything on her webcam in exchange for attention, money, items from Amazon.com wishlists or just to be generally slutty. The viewers are generally middle aged men.”

(definitions from Urban Dictionary, Wikipedia, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Pics from browseusers.myspace.com/)

Determination.

If you’re just not sure if you fit into any or all of these categories, then be sure that you proceed to the Myspace Whoretest.

Instruction.

If you failed the test, but still want to be Myspace whore, study and implement the following instructions. In 3 parts…from ashleychristine07

MYSPACE EMO/SCENE 101.

1. Pictures - Get thick rimmed glasses — not nerdy, more of a retro look. Make it so that one eye is covered by your hair. Preferably side parted bangs. Put black eyeliner on. Even of you are a guy. This adds the perfect emo touch. Wear tight pants — and a tight shirt — its a must! Hold the camera yourself. Either look up and to the side as though you are thinking or look down and to the side. Do not smile. Have a sad “woe is me, my life sucks” look on your face. Snap the picture. If this is too hard than do the above and take the picture in a mirror. Make sure flash = off. Now you have an emo picture. Upload it to your computer and go to your photo editing program– make the picture black and white. Now you have the perfect emo picture.

2. Music - Go to VCZ and choose an emo video. Basically any emo/punk rock band. Now you have the tunes to go with your picture.

3. Friends - Add other people who have this “emo” look to your friends… So then you can be part of one big happy(sad) emo family!

4. Lyrics - Put lyrics to your favorite emo song in your space. The user title or the quote spot is the most common place. ex. “Cut my wrists and black my eyes” Or put some other emo/sad quote in it ex. “My life sucks”

5. Graphics and Colors - Use colors that are “Punk” or “Retro” or colors that make you feel sad or “blah.” ex. Pink and black. Anything with black. Greys and blues. Put pictures of your favorite bands. Or why not other emo pictures of yourself!

6. Blog it - Make emo blogs daily or weekly about how much your day/week was the worst ever. And hope that people will feel bad for you.

MYSPACE WHORE 101 - Female

1. Pictures - To be a Myspace whore you need to have a good picture. In this picture you should pretend to be like a pin up girl. Pamela Anderson is a good example, or Paris Hilton. So, put on skimpy clothing. A short skirt or tight pants is good, and then a shirt that shows off your cleavage, maybe make it so you can see your thong. If you are tan — this enhances the whore-y-ness and you are one step closer to your ultimate goal. So, either take a face picture that is looking down your cleavage, or have a friend take a body picture of you where you are looking really “sexy.” Now upload the picture and crop it so it is just you in the picture — you can’t have any distractions from the gorgeous you! Now you have the perfect myspace picture.

2. Music - Go to VCZ and chose a song that best suits you. Preferably something that is like poppy/hip hop/rap/r&b. Like Candy Shop, or other songs — esp ones about sex!

3. Friends - Alright, this part is like a contest. You want to see how many guys you can get to add you. You should have a goal to get more than 500 “good looking” males as your myspace friends. You can also be friends with people of the same Myspace attitude as you — other whores.

4. Graphics and Colors - This part is not very specific. It can be girly, or have pictures in the background.

5. Watch your Myspace - If you are doing a good job of being a Myspace whore, you will have many comments on your page and on your pictures of how “gorgeous” and how “hott” and “sexy” you are. Once you recieve multiple messages such as this, you know you have succeeded and become one of the ultimate whores. Congratulations, you just lost respect from any person with a brain and common sense, you should feel accomplished.

MYSPACE WHORE 101 - Male

1. Pictures - For males you have to get a picture of you that is “good” and “hott”– Do you have shaggy hair? Blonde hair and blue eyes? Nice muscles that you can show off? Do you surf or skateboard? Are you in a band and play an instrument? These are all things you should take in to consideration with your pictures. SHOW THESE OFF!!! These are things that will draw the girl’s attention. If you have a nice smile, use it. Dress nice-ish… dont look like a slob. Maybe get a sunglasses picture. That always catches someone’s eye cuz’ it adds mystery. And if you dont have a great face it covers some of it up and makes you look better! So get a good picture and upload it to myspace.

2. Music - Music isnt a huge deal when it comes to being a whore for you guys. Just make sure its not shitty and that its not like hardcore/metal. You should be good.

3. Friends - This is where you will see if you are a good Myspace whore. You should have lots of friends (maybe around 300 and up) — generally of the female “Myspace whore” type. If they are “hott” and you have many of them on your friends page — then you know you are “hott” and doing a good job. Keep up the good work.

4. Graphics and Colors - Make your profile say “I know what I am doing”… “I am hott and you know you want me” that is all you have to do. Different things turn different girls on, so you have to find your perfect whoring template.

5. Watch your Myspace - If you are doing the right job of being a Myspace whore, you shud be getting a lot of girls as myspace friends. They will leave lots of comments and give you their AIM screen name because you= hawt. If you talk to them online — be sweet and try to keep yourself on their good side. Compliment them.

Software Assistance.

If you’ve followed the above steps and you’re still a mere trollop, then try these simple software packages.

1. Myspace Friend Adder Get lots of Myspace Friends - FREE! *Simple and safe way to get friends! Start sending requests within seconds of signing up, while others do the same to you with a click of a button to request. * Great for any Myspace user! Everyone wants to have more friends. It’s also a great way to promote your music as you have more viewers.

2. Myspace Friends Whorecode - We will automatically lookup your information and generate an “add to friends” link. Use this anywhere you want to get more Myspace friends on your friends list.

3. There’s even a firefox plugin. MyspaceBar - Firefox Extension: An unofficial toolbar for the social networking site, Myspace

State of the Whoredom.

FFF: Thank you very much Mr. Gates, Mr. Jobs, Mr. Anderson, Mr. DeWolfe, members of Myspace, distinguished Diggers, and fellow bloggers: As we gather tonight, our data is at war, our bandwidth is in recession, and the civilized web faces unprecedented dangers. Yet the state of the Whoredom has never been stronger.

(keystrokes & mouseclicks from the left & right!!!!)

So there you have it folks. And now you’re in the know.

Pimps Up…fff.